well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
