come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
