speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
