dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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