I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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