uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
