currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
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It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
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Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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