At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So many bounce houses so little time
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
