I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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