Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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  (816): Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth. http://tfl.nu/la0a
  Replies (9) Good night (3038) Bad night (668)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.

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  (585): So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/s1z9
  Replies (17) Good night (9291) Bad night (914)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.

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  (815): if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it. http://tfl.nu/9gem
  Replies (48) Good night (1917) Bad night (6052)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing

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  (260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian? (1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing http://tfl.nu/axih
  Replies (51) Good night (18532) Bad night (1491)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.

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  (516): you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer. http://tfl.nu/fm8w
  Replies (64) Good night (9272) Bad night (1451)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money

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  (317): Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina. (614): Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money http://tfl.nu/rx4e
  Replies (27) Good night (6976) Bad night (1615)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over

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  (205): I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over http://tfl.nu/18ji
  Replies (22) Good night (1236) Bad night (4518)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Decisions, decisions.

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  (319): So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you." (319): Decisions, decisions. http://tfl.nu/1ou5
  Replies (46) Good night (8992) Bad night (1268)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?

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  (231): who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets? http://tfl.nu/3xr9
  Replies (5) Good night (1874) Bad night (1185)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

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  (518): Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew. http://tfl.nu/8r8n
  Replies (31) Good night (3730) Bad night (1549)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.

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  (814): I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green. http://tfl.nu/s063
  Replies (35) Good night (3205) Bad night (855)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.

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  (343): You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER. http://tfl.nu/dnn5
  Replies (12) Good night (2369) Bad night (421)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.

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  (774): Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously. http://tfl.nu/yusm
  Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (358)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night

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  (941): I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night http://tfl.nu/jn04
  Replies (6) Good night (825) Bad night (308)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE

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  (613): LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE http://tfl.nu/eazz
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (117)

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