Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?

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(248): sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking? http://tfl.nu/8ucv

Replies (1) Good night (1752) Bad night (691)
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(647): View more from Ontario

she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf

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(647): she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf http://tfl.nu/59j2

Replies (10) Good night (914) Bad night (1131)
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(561): View more from Florida

I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.

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(561): I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone. http://tfl.nu/li7n

Replies (10) Good night (2428) Bad night (640)
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(352): View more from Florida

i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.

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(352): i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so. http://tfl.nu/yfpa

Replies (31) Good night (5104) Bad night (632)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.

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(201): It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling. http://tfl.nu/90ol

Replies (16) Good night (7358) Bad night (1049)
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(740): View more from Ohio

While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.

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(740): While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day. http://tfl.nu/7t04

Replies (37) Good night (6137) Bad night (1785)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

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(937): Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed. http://tfl.nu/c6ek

Replies (8) Good night (2909) Bad night (999)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing

(860): View more from Connecticut

So?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

This is why you shouldn't make decisions

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(978): You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing (860): So? (978): This is why you shouldn't make decisions http://tfl.nu/yiev

Replies (4) Good night (3574) Bad night (925)
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(631): View more from New York

I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

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(631): I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/b6xp

Replies (6) Good night (2324) Bad night (788)
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(760): View more from California

Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.

(1-760): View more from California

Party city is having a sale on maracas

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(760): Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it. http://tfl.nu/7kaa

Replies (5) Good night (2404) Bad night (674)
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(480): View more from Arizona

We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet

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(480): We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet http://tfl.nu/q54w

Replies (5) Good night (1692) Bad night (633)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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(732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26

Replies (14) Good night (2397) Bad night (710)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager

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(705): I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager http://tfl.nu/uera

Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (514)
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(253): View more from Washington

I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat

(1-253): View more from Washington

I think that's a new house record

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(253): I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat (1-253): I think that's a new house record http://tfl.nu/c3oi

Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (375)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer

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(419): I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer http://tfl.nu/ezfg

Replies (2) Good night (931) Bad night (356)

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