youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
thus making me awesome and them whores
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.