i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.