did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.