the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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