ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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