So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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