oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
