no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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