You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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