you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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