Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
