there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
