He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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