I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize