sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
