the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
