I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
