she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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