i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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