I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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