And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
