i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
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Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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