AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
