I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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