He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
