Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
