Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
