I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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