Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
