was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
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i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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