if you like me you must not know who I am
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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