i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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