guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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