Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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