You're my little dorito
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
