Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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