Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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