I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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