so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
