he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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