She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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