if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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