At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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