Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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