can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
