You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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