i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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