Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
