I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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